School District to Receive Assistance to Pay Off $400,000 Cleaning Tab from City, Sheriff's Department and One Local Grower

School Superintendent Mêlée Stunningham announced a plan to quell local taxpayer's fears about where the money to pay Roland Fivecoatsofpaint, former SSHS Head Custodian, was going to come from.

In a joint effort with the City Council and Routt County Sheriff's Office, Stunningham announced that an auction of the marijuana obtained from the recent seizure of a local growth and distribution operation would provide funds for the settlement.

When asked about the maverick funding plan, chief architect Sheriff Stonedwall Jackson observed, "Since ninety percent of the people in town between the ages of 20 and 50 own a Subaru, a dog, and a bong, we feel that there will be ample demand for the confiscated marijuana, much of which was already ready for distribution. The remainder was dried and bagged by the sheriff's office and we have full confidence that we will be able to raise the entire $400,000 without costing the taxpayers an additional cent."

Response to the proposed plan was generally positive. "We certainly didn't want it to come out of the Gifted and Talented budget for our children," said one local parent, "but this is an acceptable solution."


blog comments powered by Disqus

Enter Amount:

Click the image below and get tickets for The End of the Boat as We Know It

Subscribe to The Pirate

You can have new content from The Pirate e-mailed to you as a newsletter as soon as it's available. No need to waste time browsing the Internet!

The Pirate will find you!

If you only want the "main" Pirate, select Global Pirate below.

Receive HTML?

Pirate Videos

Comment Highlights

Powered by Disqus
Mobile Version | Standard Version
© 2011 Ski Town Productions