The Pirate Uncovers Straight Talker Mad Libs

Written by Dusty Powder Monday, 02 May 2011

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In a case of incredible journalistic investigation, The Pirate has revealed the true source of material for the daily Straight Talker Snow Reports from the Steamboat Ski Resort: Mad Libs.

The inspiration behind the daily snow reports was revealed when The Pirate reporters found this tablet of Straight Talker Mad Libs. The tablet consisted of a unique Mad Lib for each day of the ski season, with categories such as "Power Day," "Bluebird" and "Couple Inches." (Click on image to see larger version.)The inspiration behind the daily snow reports was revealed when The Pirate reporters found this tablet of Straight Talker Mad Libs. The tablet consisted of a unique Mad Lib for each day of the ski season, with categories such as "Power Day," "Bluebird" and "Couple Inches." (Click on image to see larger version.)

The Pirate spied outgoing Straight Talk pioneer, Miley Cyrumbus, filling out a Straight Talker report on a recent morning in March at her Intracourse office in Gondola Square. Cyrumbus was wearing street clothes and didn't appear to have skied at all that morning. She left a pad of Straight Talker Mad Libs on a public coffee table, along with a printout of "Words for Awesome" that apparently was used to in conjunction with the Mad Libs to create her daily report.

The following is an excerpt of an unused Mad Lib page found in the section labeled "Decent Powder Day" (click on image to read larger version):

What a (word for awesome) day here in The Boat! We received (actual snow report) inches since yesterday, but since the snow is so (word for awesome), it felt more like (add a few inches to report number)!

I couldn't wait to get out there today, as the snow on my driveway was light and fluffy. Another Champagne Powder® day! I knew it was going to be (word for awesome) up there!

I got there early, so I immediate headed for (name of open chairlift). I wanted to warm up first, so I started on (name of groomed ski run). It was freshly groomed, with a couple inches of fresh on top. I quickly ripped some (word for awesome) turns. I could really feel the (word for awesome) corduroy underneath.

Then I headed up (name of high-speed chair) to get to the top. It was time to check out the (word for awesome) powder! First I took a lap down (name of ungroomed run). Let me tell you, the (word for awesome) snow was up past my boots, higher in some spots. Can life get any better?

Then it was a (word for awesome) run through the (word for awesome) glades down (name of a tree run). Just epic! The snow seemed bottomless as I bounced through the trees. I would've taken a few more runs there, but my legs were (word for tired), and it was time to file another Straight Talker report, so no one would miss what (word for awesome) conditions we have up here.

Let me be the first to tell you, you don't want to miss on this one!

(Straight Talker name)
(riding equipment used)

The printed sheet of "Words for Awesome" included: awesome, beautiful, gorgeous, effortless, fantastic, amazing, marvelous, awe-inspiring, stunning, wondrous and majestic, among others.

The Pirate attempted to contact Cyrumbus about this story, but she was immediately whisked off to Whitefish, Mont. No one else at Intracourse would comment on the story.


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