Written by Howdy Westwaswon Monday, 01 April 2013
In a sight that was breathtaking to see in its beauty and yet sad in its nostalgia for a "simpler" time, the last-known herd of free-range snowmobiles was briefly spotted in February charging across Steamboat Lake. It's believed the elusive wild pack was heading from Sand Mountain to Hahn's Peak to frolic in the fresh tracks there and hunt for dwindling sources of wild fossil fuels.
"It brought a tear to my eye, I can tell you that," said Josey Gales, an 85-year-old North Routt local and regular patron at Hahn's Peak Cathouse, a domesticated snowmobile outfitter and brothel in the area. "I've heard rumors of this 'lost herd,' but I never thought I'd actually see them. When they were gunning it, easily past 60 miles an hour, and so free and unencumbered of men, it reminded me of how the west used to be, when wild snowmobiles roamed all over these parts."
Gales lamented the lost 'wildness' no longer found in the modern era.
"Why does there have to be so much 'progress'?" added Gales, his eyes misting. "Now there's roads everywhere, and schools and healthcare facilities and such. I remember, in the good old days, there'd be nothing out here except the cold snows and a trusty 370-cc Polaris Colt 150 between your legs. And gas was free, just like our souls.
"Now there's all them tourist homos on their 500-pound behemoths with mirrors and hand warmers. Groomed trails and warming huts. It's sad," added Gales. "Where was I going with this?"Add a comment
Written by Eve Enttsplanner Monday, 18 March 2013
After successfully promoting and marketing the Steamboat Ski Resort's 50th anniversary and the 100th anniversaries of Steamboat's Winter Carnival and Perry Mansfield Performing Arts School and Camp, aptly name Annie Versary, the woman hired in 2011 as a Special Anniversary Planner, has been working diligently to come up with additional major anniversaries to be celebrated in Routt County.
"It occurred to me some time during the Winter Carnival Parade that Steamboat may have run out of major anniversaries to celebrate," noted Versary. "And as that's my only job, it also occurred to me that I better get my shit together or I'm going to be out on the street before the end of ski season. I don't think they'll keep a special planner for the mountain's 51st anniversary. And 101 only works if you collect Dalmations."
Ms. Versary presented her list of upcoming major anniversaries to her joint employers, the City of Steamboat Springs and Intracourse, which owns the ski mountain. She highlighted the following events taking place in the next several years:
2014: The 200th Anniversary of Ute-tanasia, a Native American...Add a comment
Written by Fezzik Vazzini Tuesday, 26 February 2013
The International Flash Mob Standards Organization (IFMSO) released a scathing critique of the 100th Winter Carnival Flash Mob, citing that it didn't meet the stringent standards needed to qualify as a genuine "flash mob."
"You can't tell anyone and everyone that there's going to be a flash mob going on," whined Knit Pick, president of IFMSO. "For goodness' sake, they had newspaper articles, public Facebook postings and even microphoned announcers telling everyone, 'OK, let's do that flash mob thing!'"
In IFMSO's report critiquing the Winter Carnival Flash Mob, the dictionary definition of the act was given: A flash mob is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then quickly disperse. The Winter Carnival featured neither a sudden assembly nor any type of dispersal, according to the report.
"Yes, they had a nice dance with good choreography, but it's just not a flash mob," noted Pick. "I suppose they could call it an 'Organized Dance' or a 'Group Celebration' or even the trendy term 'Smart Mob,' but just not a flash mob. We need standards for these things, or we'll lose the hip cache that's currently eroding faster than favorability numbers for Congress. We're still trying to recover from the flash mob on Modern Family--we can't afford to lose any more coolness."Add a comment
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- City Council Passes New Year's Resolution 13-B, Vowing to Quit Smoking, Eat Healthier and Stop Passing Stupid-Ass Resolutions
- Friends of Chief, the Dog, Concerned because New Owners Have No Idea What to Do with a Dog
- Steamboat Wooing Younger, Unmotivated Workforce to 'Fillabong Valley'
- Council Eyes New, Simpler Plan: BAP! and Police/Fire Station to Switch Homes
- Council Considers Turning Iron Horse into Medical SexCare Facility
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