Barney Family Love Festival Comes to Town, Locals Pissed at Inconveniences

The inaugural Barney Family Love Festival arrived in Steamboat Springs this weekend, bringing with it a unique following of children, parents, love for all mankind and simpleton purple dinosaurs. It was estimated that at least five thousand people showed up for the event, culminating in the "I Love You Dash" along downtown Lincoln Avenue.The inaugural Barney Family Love Festival culminated in the "I Love You Dash," a family friendly and joyful race down Lincoln Avenue, which was won by Italian sprinter Elia Viviani.The inaugural Barney Family Love Festival culminated in the "I Love You Dash," a family friendly and joyful race down Lincoln Avenue, which was won by Italian sprinter Elia Viviani.

Organizers were particularly pleased with the general positive outpouring of the Steamboat community, which showed up in force for the family oriented fiesta that encourages parents to spend more time with their children; engage in healthy lifestyle choices such as proper diet and exercise; and work on loving everyone equally, regardless of their race, economics or political backgrounds.

"It really comes down to the Barney theme song," said Chee Z. Smiles, chief organizer of the event. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me, too?"

"I think this whole festival can go f--- itself," noted longtime Steamboat local Harden Heart. "Have you tried parking anywhere? I've been driving around in circles for like 10 minutes, just waiting for one of these damn minivans to move, but they never leave. What do they do all day long?"

Smiles noted that Barney Family Love Festival attendees spend much of the day "just hanging out with their families and friends, trying to become better people."

Upon hearing the description of daily activities, Heart countered that it sounded a lot like loitering.

"If I sit around all day, people call me a vagrant," added Heart. "Do these people have jobs? I've got a job. And I'm going to be late because I can't find a damn parking spot! Become better people someplace else!"

Other Steamboat locals were mixed in their feelings toward the two-day festival.

"I think it's great that they're here," noted Sue Anthony, a maker of objects that should be round but aren't. "They're bringing some needed tourism dollars into town, and I think they're good examples for the rest of us."

"I'm with Harden, I think they should go f--- themselves," countered her friend, Emily Earheart. "They waltz in here like they own the place, and they're constantly jaywalking. Look around. Just crossing the street anywhere they damn please. Aren't there rules in Barneyland? But at least they're not on bikes. I can't take any more of that."

Smiles was unsure if the tour would return to Steamboat Springs next year, citing the mixed reaction from the townsfolk.

"It's hard to say," he noted. "On the one hand, we encountered some really loving people here in Steamboat Springs, and it's a beautiful place. On the other hand, there are some real crabby patties here. It's just two days. Can't we all get along?"

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