Steamboat Springs
Flooded Homeowner Suing Ski Resort for Making Snow
Written by Macon Trouble Tuesday, 21 June 2011
A Steamboat Springs man who recently watched his semi-furnished
basement mildly flood with waters from the swollen Yampa River has
decided to take legal action against the entity he finds
responsible for his waterlogged faux-Oriental carpet: Intracourse
ULC, the parent company that owns Steamboat Ski Resort.
Liddy Gator searched his soppy phone book for a lawyer who would help him sue Intracourse for spewing excess fluids during snowmaking operations, which he claims caused the flooding of his basement man cave.
Liddy Gator, 43 and divorced, blames what he calls "unnecessary and reckless snowmaking" for pushing the Yampa River above his normally sufficient retaining wall along the river. According to Gator, he rarely skis and spends his winters drinking in the basement on his now-moist Lazy-Boy and "watching shit on TV."
"They had, what, 200 inches of natural snow base on the mountain this winter, right?" Gator asked no one in particular. "Did they really need a few more inches on Eagle's Nest for the eight people who use that run? How do I know those few inches of snow aren't what pushed the Yampa into my beloved basement? There ain't no scientists who can tell me that isn't the case."
"That isn't the case," said Dr. I.C. Hands, a scientist at the Storm Peak Weather Station. "Man-made snow sucks, we all know that, but it...
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CDOT Addressing Rockslide Area, Covering It with Serene-Looking Mural
Written by Cliff Hanger Sunday, 05 June 2011
Answering
Routt County critics who complained that the Colorado Department of
Transportation (CDOT) is doing nothing to prevent future deadly
rockslides along the Mt. Harris stretch of U.S. 40 east of Hayden,
the department announced that it's paying a local artist to create
a "pleasant, non-scary" mural across the dangerous stretch of
cliffs.
CDOT awarded a local Steamboat Springs artist $50,000 to create a gigantic mural covering a rockslide-prone area to make people feel better about driving through the deadly canyon. Potential murals have been mocked up, showing butterflies or a pleasant, cliff-less meadow.The move comes
after a particularly hazardous spring in which a house-sized
boulder nearly demolished a truck and its two passengers. The
artist, Robert Boss, is expected to create a "wicked-big" mural to
make drivers see and think of something else besides "a giant rock
falling on your f-ing head."
"We see this as a major improvement for next year," noted CDOT Region 3 Director Pave Dover. "Instead of a threatening cliff face with unstable, massive boulders sticking out, drivers will see cute butterflies or maybe a nice flat pond scene--perhaps some...
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City Council Votes to Ban Pizza Dispensaries
Written by Pepper Roni Monday, 23 May 2011
To combat
what City Council called an "unexpected" amount of Steamboat
Springs' citizens using pizza to combat chronic stomach pain, the
council voted 4-3 to ban pizza dispensaries within town limits.
Council members voting for the ban cited increased cases of lactose
intolerance and sausage farts, which they felt did more harm than
good in the community.
Citing the dangers of accessible pizza to the citizens of Steamboat Springs, City Council enacted a permanent ban on pizza dispensaries. However, individuals with a legal license to consume pizza can still bake the circular food in their own homes.
"No one on this council ever anticipated that we'd have so many dispensaries selling pizza in Steamboat," said City Council President Pro-Tem Quinnagin Beginnagin. "It's gone too far. There's a pizza dispensary on every block. Do we really need this much pizza in Steamboat Springs? It's not very healthy, you know. Have you seen what it does to a colon? Well ... neither have I, but I bet it's not good."
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More Articles...
- Dog Squad Shoots Man in Night-Time Helicopter Raid
- City Council Approves WalSheens; Pharmacy/Porn Emporium to Open on Lincoln
- The Pirate Uncovers Straight Talker Mad Libs
- Steamboat Man Saves $30 Baggage Fee, Arrested for Shipping 60 Pounds of Marijuana Home
- Hayden Freaks Out over Gas Station Move, Steamboaters Gain New Reason to Belittle Neighboring Town
- Tiger Pulls Out of Catamount Invitational; Thought It Was Italian Cougar Orgy
- 700 Club Announces Affordable Housing Plan: Magic Beans
- Steamboat Claims All 5,500 Olympians, Including Kevin Bacon
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