Republicans Vow to Limit Obama to 'Two-Term President'
Written by Cam Painagain Sunday, 25 November 2012
Almost immediately after President Barack Obama won re-election,
Republican leaders promised they would do everything in their power
to prevent Obama from winning a third term as president, but that
this time it would work.
Republican leaders fear President Obama will repeal the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution, which limits presidents to two terms, and name himself king or dictator for life. Of course, the last amendment to repeal a previous amendment legalized alcohol, so there is precedent for drastic action if politicians do something really stupid, like ban booze or nominate Sarah Palin for president in 2016.
"Sure, I promised after the last election that my main priority was making sure Obama was a 'one-term president,'" said Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. "And no, that didn't exactly work out. But this time, I'm really, really confident we can keep him from being elected for a third term."
Part of that newfound confidence lies in the 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which clearly states that U.S. presidents can only serve two terms in office. And since its passage, no president has tried to question the legitimacy of the Constitution they swore to protect under all costs.
However, former vice presidential candidate, part-time governor and reality TV star Sarah Palin quickly jumped into the fray to...
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Republican Leaders Urging All Its Candidates to Sign 'I Will Never Say the Word 'Rape' Under Any Circumstances' Pledge
Written by Tank Myparty Friday, 26 October 2012
To quell the bleeding from the latest of several negatively
received comments about rape and how it may have some sort of
"upside" in certain circumstances, GOP leaders are circulating a
pledge and demanding that all of its candidates sign the
document.
Although not an official GOP candidate at this time, Donald Trump signed the "don't ever mention rape" pledge. At this press conference, his monologue steered toward a dangerous topic, at which point he shoved this finger into his mouth and bit down severely, averting further political suicide.
Part of the document reads, "I pledge that under no circumstances will I ever use the word 'rape' in any form, context or situation. I won't even say it amongst close friends, as you never know who has a hidden camera. Any time I even think of the word 'rape' in my head, after signing this document, I will bite one of my fingers so hard that it makes my eyes water and the word disappears from my brain, and all I think about is the harmless, intense pain in my digit."
The pledge was written by Grover Norquist, who is famous for writing the No Tax Pledge which most Republican lawmakers and candidates have signed.
"It's my theory that Republicans simply need a public declaration to keep them from doing something harmful to themselves and our party, marital fidelity excluded, of course, but...
Add a commentNFL Owners Locking Out 'Greedy' Concession Workers who Demanded Reinstatement of Annual Holiday Party
Written by Joe Powerless Thursday, 20 September 2012
Citing the lack of controversy and ease with which they locked
out their referees who asked for their retirement pension to remain
active, NFL owners moved yesterday to lockout their entire
workforce of concession workers who, according to one owner, "were
getting greedy, too."
"Greedy" concession workers have been locked out of NFL stadiums for daring to want something from the owners.
Among the soda and beer pourers demands was a reinstatement of a group holiday party in December, hosted by each owner and team. Owners are insisting that the once-common practice be dropped to save them five to 10 thousand dollars annually, depending on whether the party was "open bar" or not.
"Holiday parties, like pension plans, are a relic of the past," said NFL owner mouthpiece and league commissioner Roger Greedwell. "Who does that anymore?"
Greedwell admitted that NFL owners are making bajillions of dollars from their teams, but countered that because many sectors of the modern economy are suffering and demanding cutbacks from existing employees, the NFL owners should do the same on principle.
"Our owners need to stand united with the other owners of the world," continued Greedwell. "If other owners are reducing paychecks, cutting healthcare benefits and taking away things like pensions and holiday parties, then we need to...
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