Written by Ty Muhflies Thursday, 24 May 2012
In a breathtakingly important event viewed by 0.0000000000001 percent of the Internet, The Pirate Web site at yourpirate.com celebrated its one-year anniversary in mid-May 2012. The site, spawned by the uberly successful group known as Pirate Theatre, based out of Steamboat Springs, Colo., surprised all of the family members of its contributors by continuing to exist after one year.
"I didn't think it would last more than a month," said Betty Againstit, a pessimistic yet realistic mother of one of The Pirate's contributors. "I always thought it was cute that they did shows in Steamboat, and the funny paper they put out was pretty good, but a thingy on the Word While Web? No, I didn't think they had it in them. Most of them aren't that bright..."
Working with a budget the size of most four-year-old's piggy bank, The Pirate Web site has managed to be viewed by more than 3,000 visitors from more than 50 countries. Its collection of satire stories spoofing local and world politics, sports, entertainment and more have been viewed by a wide variety of actual people in addition to search...Add a comment
Written by Harry Eye Thursday, 17 May 2012
Hoping to let voters know that he's no longer the same person he was when he was 18 years old and held a fellow prepschooler down on the ground while he cut his "girly" hair, presumptive GOP candidate for president Mitt Romney swore that he would never again forcibly trim another human being's hair and/or completely strip him of his dignity and self-worth.
"This is a really big announcement," said CNN newscaster Wolfing Blitzen. "No other presidential candidate in history has officially declared that he would never, ever again intimidate and physically assault one of his inferiors. Truly a groundbreaking moment for Mitt Romney and the Republican Party. Barack Obama is going to have to really think long and hard to see if he can match such a commitment."
But before Blitzen could finish his statement, Libby Mouthpiece, an Obama spokesperson, confirmed that Obama could make the same statement.
"Ummm ... if you're wondering if Obama can commit to not pinning someone down and defacing him, while...Add a comment
Written by Barbie Woodcry Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Building off the astonishingly successful selling of matching outfits for American Girl dolls and the young girls who own them, the seller of equally astonishingly high-priced dolls has announced a new product: girls who match successful doll models.
"It's just a natural extension of our product line," says Marie Grace, senior marketing executive for the new Real Girl line of real girls. "Parents who can afford our dolls absolutely adored seeing their children in matching outfits with their playthings. It was unfair to exclude that kind of parent-imposed joy from those who don't have real children of their own. So if you're an upper-middle-class control freak, and want a child to match one of our dolls, we can supply that product to you."
The initial product launch is expected to include best-selling dolls such as McKenna in her tennis outfit, Ruthie in the always-adorable pink-and-black plaid outfit (with matching tea set), Julie in the popular non-edgy skateboarding outfit and Emily in a purple-flower sun dress. The dolls in this line...Add a comment
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