Written by K.D. Bang Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Recent research indicates that those declaring themselves part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) community are increasing in numbers, up 23 percent from the same time a year ago. The same study also indicated that 83 percent of those who say they recently "came out of the closet" did so after listening to a lot of Pandora.
The popular online music site, which features a sophisticated computer model that matches a listener's "likes" and "preferences" to help find new music that he or she should also like, easily outdistanced "I could just feel it" and "I'm subconsciously trying to piss off my parents" as the leading explanation for why most people joined the LGBT community.
"I was listening to Pandora again, like I usually do," notes Guy Sandwich, just one of the many thousands of listeners who recently realized he was gay. "I've been using it for a long time, and it knows my tastes really well. So I started to become suspicious of my sexual orientation after a Sufjan Stevens song was...Add a comment
Written by Carnie Val Monday, 13 February 2012
Rocked by the negative press of a cruise ship that wrecked off the coast of Italy and other recent "unpleasantries," the Cruise Line Association of the Pacific (The CLAP) launched a massive PR campaign to persuade potential passengers that sailing on a cruise ship is neither dangerous nor life-altering in any way.
"Sailing on a beautiful, over-engineered cruise ship is just as safe and bland as a walk through a shopping mall," noted Carrie Beann, spokesperson for The CLAP. "You have a much higher chance of being killed driving to your local, corporate coffee shop. You also would have a better chance of seeing something authentic about the area you are visiting. As long as the captain isn't a drunken weasel of a man, cruise vacations are still the best way to gorge yourself on prime rib and tiramisu buffets in...Add a comment
Written by Redd Neck Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Alabama Senator Dick "Shelby" Charger (R) panned President Barack Obama's "State of the Union" address, saying the president was just another "Northern Elite" who never considers the "State of the Confederacy," which he believes still exists in 2012.
"Just look at the title of his little speech," noted Charger. "The Union is a divisive term for those of us in the Mighty South. He might as well have called it the 'State of the Northern Aggression.' Those of us in the Confederacy don't recognize this Kenyan socialist and his anti-white stances."
Although the phrase State of the Union was written into Article II of the U.S. Constitution when adopted in 1787, Charger notes that it wasn't called that until Franklin D. Roosevelt used it in 1937.
"Roosevelt was a Democrat, and most likely a Communist," added Charger. "He used the word Union to alienate and degrade fine, white southern gentlemen like myself. And Barack Hussein Obama is carrying on that tradition."
Charger proposed a counter-speech to be prepared each year by a loyalist to the Confederate States of America, which most people outside of the south believe were defeated in the Civil War in 1865. The...Add a comment
- Cain Mistress Confesses to Being Rove Plant
- Scientists Discover God Particle Man, Who then Fights with Triangle Man
- Obama Campaigning on 'Change I Can Actually Accomplish,' Promises New Facial Hair
- ABC Introduces New Spinoff: Synchronized Diving with the Stars
- Romney Withdraws from Presidential Race, Citing Fatal Flaw
- Struggling Oprah Unveils New Urban-Wizard Line of Books and Movies
- NBA Lockout Continues, Now Entering 115th Day of No One Caring
- Manning Suing NFL for Whiplash, Seeking Punitive Damages
Page 10 of 23«StartPrev12345678910NextEnd»